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| JOKES FOR A MONDAY MORNING: An old woman came into her doctor's surgery and confessed to an embarrassing problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and they have no odour. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than twenty times. What can I do?" "Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for seven days and comeback and see me in a week." Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for yourself?" "Calm down, Mrs. Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed your sinuses, we'll work on your hearing." MORE >> A man was trying to understand the nature of God and asked him: "God, how long is a million years to you?" God answered: "A million years is like a minute." Then the man asked: "God, how much is a million pounds to you?" And God replied: "A million pounds is like a penny." Finally the man asked: "God, can you give me a penny?" God answered: "In a minute." November 2001 |
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