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| Object association Imagine that, instead of being yourself, you are one of the following objects. Choose the one that appeals to you the most then read the definition that follows... 1. A SHOE 2. A BOOMERANG 3. A CHAIR 4. A COMPUTER MOUSE 5. A CHRISTMAS TREE 6. A SEAT BELT 7. A LOTTERY TICKET 8. A CARPET 9. A PAIR OF CURTAINS 10. A CIGARETTE Definitions... see below > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > =================================================== Definitions: 1. A SHOE To choose a shoe is proof positive that, in sexual matters, you like nothing more than to be trodden into the ground by your sexual partners. You will allow them to do anything they want to you and never complain, you'll just keep right on letting them drag you along wherever they go. You are also into threesomes, as you always have your partner tagging along. You are probably also a secret foot fetishist. 2. A BOOMERANG You just don't know when to stop. No matter how many times you do it, you always come back for more. Your sexual partners just can't get rid of you, no matter how hard they try. No sooner have they had their wicked way with you and thrown you away, you just turn around and come right back. You also make funny whirring noises whenever you have sex, which can be quite off-putting. 3. A CHAIR Wanting to be a chair shows that you are submissive when it comes to sexual matters. You are afraid to try out new techniques and even afraid to suggest them to your sexual partners. On the rare occasions that you might pluck up the courage to do so, your partner always sits on you and squashes your ideas flat before you get the chance to put them into action. Chair people are also particularly fond of oral sex. 4. A COMPUTER MOUSE Wanting to be a computer mouse means you like nothing more than to be groped non-stop for hours. You absolutely love having hands roaming all over your person, moving across your entire body from side to side, up and down, and every which way. Every now and again, however, you freeze, and refuse to co-operate, which is very annoying. You also make strange clicking noises when you're excited. 5. A CHRISTMAS TREE As a Christmas tree, you have a secret yearning to be a member of the opposite sex when you are indulging in sexual activities. Lady trees desperately want to have something attached to them which can stand firm and tall and erect, whereas gentlemen trees have a secret desire to dress up in all sorts of glittery, gaudy clothes. Fortunately, you only tend to have this desire once a year for a couple of weeks or so. 6. A SEAT BELT To want to be a seat belt is proof positive that you are into bondage. If you envisage yourself as a tight seat belt, you want to be the one who is tied-up, whereas to see yourself as a loose seat belt means you want to be the one doing the tying-up. Seat-belt people are also very possessive with their partners and tend to lock them in cellars for years in case they go outside and never come back. 7. A LOTTERY TICKET This means you are always willing to take a chance when it comes to sex and will try anything once. If your lottery ticket always has the same numbers on it, you are adventurous between the sheets, but faithful. If, however, your numbers change every week, you are far too promiscuous and should be ashamed of yourself. If your ticket is the winning ticket, this means you will always hit the jackpot when it comes to sex. 8. A CARPET Well, this speaks for itself really, doesn't it. All you really want is for someone to walk all over you. Whatever they suggest, you go along with it, even if you don't like the sound of it at all. Carpet people are similar to shoe people, but at least shoe people get to go out occasionally. Carpet women tend to be mistresses who prefer the missionary position; carpet men like to be dominated and prefer the woman to be on top. 9. A PAIR OF CURTAINS Curtain people are quite complex when it comes to their sex lives. One minute you're open, the next minute you're closed. One day you'll be willing to try absolutely anything, then the next you’re not interested at all. If someone doesn't open you properly, you can be half-interested and half not. But you're always exciting, because nobody ever quite knows what they will find when they pull you apart. 10. A CIGARETTE To many people, you are a sex idol. Suddenly, without warning, people simply MUST have you and they will do anything to get you and set you alight with passion. The only problem is, your passion is short-lived and you burn yourself out far too quickly, leaving your partners with nothing but a nasty taste in their mouths. And about two-thirds of the population don't think you're a sex-idol, they think you’re disgusting, filthy and smelly. 2002 |
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