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| Condom slogans What if major brands started making their own condoms but kept the same slogans... it might go something like this... Sainsbury Condoms "Making life taste better." Tesco Condoms "Every little helps." Nike Condoms "Just do it." Peugeot Condoms "The ride of your life." Galaxy Condoms "Why have rubber when you can have silk." KFC Condoms "Finger Licking good." Minstrels Condoms "Melt in your mouth, not in your hands." Safeway Condoms "Lightening the load." Abbey National Condoms "Because life is complicated enough." Coca Cola Condoms "The real thing." Ever Ready Condoms "keep going and going." Macintosh Condoms "It does more, it costs less, it's that simple." Pringles Condoms "Once you pop, you cant stop." Burger king Condoms "Home of the whopper." Goodyear Condoms "For a longer ride go wide." FCUK Condoms No comment required. Muller Light Condoms "So much pleasure, but where's the pain." Flash Condoms "Just sit back, relax and let flash do all the hard work." Halfords Condoms "We go the extra mile." Royal Mail Condoms "I saw this and thought of you." Andrex Condoms "Soft, strong and very very long." Renault Condoms "Size really does matter!" Ronseal Condoms "Does exactly what it says on the tin." Walls Ice Cream "Stop me and buy one." Jiffy (Coloured) Condoms "Come in a Jiffy" or "Put some colour in your cheeks!" Ronseal Quick-drying Condoms "It's dry and waterproof in about 30 minutes." Domestos Condoms "Gets right under the rim!" Heineken Condoms "Reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach." Carlsberg Condoms Probably the best condom in the world." Mars Condoms "A condom a day helps you work rest and play." AA Condoms "For the 4th emergency service." Pepperami Condoms "It's a bit of an animal." Fiat Condoms "Spirito di Punto." Milky way Condoms "The snack you can eat between meals." BMW Condoms "The Ultimate Driving Machine." Budweiser Condoms "Wasssssuuuuuppppp!" Polo Condoms "The condom with the hole!" (VERY poor seller!) Any more suggestions...? Let's have 'em. ======================================================= Traditional condom machine graffiti, along with: "The chewing gum in this machine tastes bloody awful" "My Dad says these don't work" Alongside the kitemark and tested to BS............., "So was the Titanic" Alongside the instruction to insert coin, wait for it to drop, rotate knob anti-clockwise and remove packet, "If this is sex, it sounds bloody boring" ======================================================= Scientific discovery may not be better than sex - but the satisfaction lasts longer, according to Professor Stephen Hawking 2002 |
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