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Stages of Life for Him and Her

The Male Stages Of Life

AGE and DRINK
17 beer
25 vodka
35 scotch
48 double scotch
66 glass of milk


SEDUCTION LINE
17 My parents are away for the weekend.
25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 My fiancée is away for the weekend.
48 My wife is away for the weekend.
66 My second wife is dead.


FAVORITE SPORT
17 sex
25 sex
35 sex
48 sex
66 napping


DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "tongue"
25 "breakfast"
35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66 "Got home alive."


FAVORITE FANTASY
17 Getting there
25 airplane sex
35 menage a trois
48 taking the company public
66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave


HOUSE PET
17 roaches
25 stoned-out college roommate
35 German Shepherd
48 children from his first marriage
66 Barbi

=============================================

The Female Stages Of Life

AGE and DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser


EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to colour my hair
48 Need to have Francois colour my hair
66 Need to have Francois colour my wig


FAVORITE SPORT
17 shopping
25 shopping
35 shopping
48 shopping
66 shopping


DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "Burger King"
25 "Free meal"
35 "A diamond"
48 "A bigger diamond"
66 "Home Alone"


FAVORITE FANTASY
17 tall, dark and handsome
25 tall, dark and handsome with money
35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 a man with hair
66 a man


HOUSE PET
17 Muffy the cat
25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35 German Shepherd and Muffy the Cat
48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muff the Cat

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