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Write out 100 times...

Sayings that we might like our sex partners to write on the blackboard!

1. If I am inadequate in one area, I will compensate in others.
2. I will pay attention to my partner and move on to something different at the slightest sign of revulsion.
3. I will not leave my socks on.
4. I will not vomit on my partner's private parts.
5. Personal hygiene is good.
6. Spitting is bad.
7. Little pieces of toilet paper are neither a fashion statement nor a turn-on.
8. I will not laugh at noises caused by friction.
9. I will not smack my partner in the nose, accidentally or otherwise.
10. I will not lay on my partner's hair.
11. I will not tell my partner I wish she was more aggressive sexually, when I'm always being bossy in bed.
12. I will not limit my tongue's entire repetoire to simply thrusting stiffly (or limply) into my partner's mouth.
13. I will be careful with my teeth.
14. I will not comment on my partner's weight ever, in bed or otherwise.
15. I will be careful with my fingernails.
16. I will pay attention.
17. I will not let my partner down by abruptly stopping what was just about to make her very happy.
18. I will be careful with my jewellery.
19. I will wash beneath my foreskin... daily.
20. I will not expect my partner to have the flexibility of a gymnast, when I can't even touch my toes.
21. I will remember to bring condoms, lube, and spermicide.
22. I will practise putting on condoms so that I don't totally spoil the moment with unskilled ineptitude.
23. "Ouch" does not mean "ooh baby, do that again".
24. I will not make her sleep on the wet spot.
25. I will not attempt to suck my partner's tongue out of her head.
26. I will not be so focused on my "performance" that I will forget to have fun and enjoy myself too.
27. I will not make fun of noises my partner makes in the heat of the moment.
28. Having staying power is a good thing; doing the same thing for an hour is not.
29. I will not say "This will only take a minute" or "This won't hurt a bit" as it will only make my partner nervous.
30 I will not eat food with a lot of garlic in it beforehand, unless my partner does too.
31. I will throw away my own condom.
32. I will not stop to answer the phone, the door, or my pager.
33. "No" does not mean "yes" or "maybe", nor is it a come-on line.



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