Your complete guide on oral pleasure and pleasing a women!
EATING A WOMEN'S PUSSY
Eating a woman's pussy is about the most wonderful thing you can do for her. It makes her feel loved, admired, sexy, and of course it makes her cum like crazy. Many women prefer it to intercourse, and for most, it is the easiest way to cum with a man. You may have the littlest prick on the planet but if you give great head, you will be appreciated as a fabulous lover. Yes, it's that important. Besides, lots of women expect it these days - you might as well know what your doing.
First off, men seem to have a strange love/hate relationship with women's genitalia. Men that can't wait to get their prick into one are often reluctant to put their face 'down there'. For every man who says he loves to eat pussy, there's another one who's squeamish. Women know this, and it affects their ability to lay back and enjoy the experience. There is nothing more exciting to a woman than to know that her partner finds her delicious! Don't be coy; tell her. When a man 'fingers' a lady and then smells, licks, sucks the juice off his finger and sighs as if in heaven, she knows it's her lucky day!
What if your sweet lady doesn't smell or taste very sweet? Don't suffer. (Don't complain, either.) Take a nice hot shower or bath together. Lather up both of your bodies and slide them together. It's like a whole body fuck. Soap up her vulva, washing between her outer and inner lips. Spread her lips apart and gently wash her clitoris. Hey, don't stop - this feels great! Run your soapy hand down the crack of her ass and rub a finger all around her anus. You can stick one finger in and wash around inside too, if you anticipate any anal play, and I suggest you do. But don't put those soapy fingers up her vagina. Instead, rinse them off well and stick one or two inside, making a circular motion. Think about washing the inside of a tall glass - same thing. Now wasn't that fun? And now you can feel free to let your tongue wander anywhere it pleases.
So now what? You've found a comfy spot to play, you've been kissing passionately, your tongues darting around each other's mouths like playful otters. You've moved down to nibble one of her hardening nipples and she's starting to groan, grinding her pelvis against your stomach. STOP. I know it was just starting to get good. But was she really groaning with pleasure, or was it your own excitement you were detecting? I strongly prefer to be excited before a man starts plunging his tongue into my inner recesses. Use your judgement, and kiss, lick, and fondle your way down her stomach, up her thighs, until she's arching up her back trying to get you to eat her. Of course, if she really was groaning and grinding, go for it... I also don't particularly enjoy a man endlessly nibbling my inner thigh while my clit is quivering in anticipation.
If the woman you are with is somewhat hesitant about you going down on her, start off with her lying on her back, perhaps half-sitting. Lay down between her legs, with her legs over your shoulders. She may enjoy laying or sitting at the edge of the bed with you kneeling. She can also straddle your face, but be prepared to get very wet. There are endless varieties of positions where you can press your face up to her pussy, some of which strike me as more acrobatic than erotic, but feel free to experiment. And then there's the 69...
69 is one of my favourite positions. On the plus side, you both get to enjoy the sublime sensations of getting head, simultaneously. The upside down positioning of a woman's pussy and your mouth is an easy fit and there's more room for your hands. On the negative side, it's a less than ideal position for a woman to give head. Plus, if you need to read this article, you may be better off concentrating your energies on pleasing her, without too much distraction. But even for experienced 69'ers, it's easy to short-change your partner. 'It feels so good, I'm just gonna stop for a second and concentrate on what you're...aaaarrrgghhh'. Get the picture? Some show of will-power is in order.
69 can be done male on top, female on top, or side by side. The latter two are easier, though it's more restful with both partners laying down. Some women love being licked on all fours, so if female-on-top 69 drives her wild, take the hint and find some other ways to eat her in this position. I happen to enjoy male on top, but for many women this is a sure choking position. If a woman can, or wants to try, to deep-throat you, this is THE position. When her head is thrust back you can really slide your cock all the way down her throat. But don't forget what you're supposed to be doing!
So there you are staring at it - the mysterious hole from whence you came, and into which you hope to cum again... First, an anatomy lesson...
Before I go any further, a few words about the clitoris, accent on the first syllable. Most of you know it, but for those who don't, it is THE woman's sex organ, period. It may feel great to be fucked vaginally, anally or otherwise, but if the stimulation is not right there, on the clitoris, you're ignoring the place that's going to make her cum, and presumably that's why you're reading this, right? It's right there at the top juncture of her inner lips, a small knob of pink flesh. This is where it's at boys, and don't forget it. Almost any licking and sucking of the labia or vaginal entrance is going to feel just dandy; just remember that this is pleasurable teasing, not the main event. I can't tell you how many man have thrust their tongues up my vagina thinking that this was going to make me cum. They were wrong. Of course, with a little manual stimulation....but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Women feel differently about how much direct stimulation they can take on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clits, others will shriek in pain! You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. IMPORTANT NOTE: Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she's very excited. The fact is, most women really need a good bit of stimulation before a targeted attack on their clitoris, but once they're there, that's where you want to devote your attention.
The key here is go slow, ask questions, and if she's comfortable with it, leave the lights on and really explore. Body language often does tell what feels best, but I promise, she will appreciate your attentiveness if you ask outright. If she seems shy, get her to guide your hands and mouth with her own hand, and pay attention. If she starts bucking up against your mouth and gasping in ragged little breaths, for God's sake, don't use this opportunity to try something different. Just keep doing exactly what you're doing.
I want to reiterate, there is almost nothing you can do that won't feel terrific, so relax! I promise you may be confused and uncertain, but she's in heaven. Any licking and sucking of the labia, vaginal entrance, clitoris, or anal area is going to feel just great, and I'd no sooner tell men to 'do it exactly like this' than I would tell every chef to follow the same recipe. But for those who are compelled to RTFM, here are a few techniques that you might like to try:
Try lapping her pussy from vaginal entrance up to her clit, leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed. This is a good way to start your Tongueing.
Run your tongue between the inner and outer labia on one side, while holding the two together with your lips. Good job, now do the other side.
Fuck her pussy with your tongue - in and out, around and around, etc. This feels nice. Not wonderful or incredible or earth-shaking; just nice.
Spread her outer lips with your hand. Then, with your tongue pointed and stiff, gently flick here and there. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit. This drives some women wild, and others can't take it. Some may prefer that you always leave your tongue soft, so when you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstasy or pain!
The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e. she's no longer coherent). These are very intense actions which may be 'too much' for some women, even when nearing orgasm.
With her clit still exposed, give it a quick little suck - pulling it into your mouth briefly and letting it go. This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off your pinky. This feels incredible, and is a fine thing to do if you feel like torturing her (see PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER below).
Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently (at first, anyway) suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. This can be done very lightly or very aggressively, and combined with fingering, will usually rapidly produce an intense orgasm.
Another choice technique involves rolling your tongue into a tube. If you can't do this with your tongue, you can't learn it - it's genetic. For those who can, this works best in an inverted or 69 position. Roll your tongue into a tube around the shaft of her clitoris. Slide it up and down; in effect, your tongue makes a tiny pussy for her clit to fuck. This also is likely to bring her over the edge.
Fingers are a valuable adjunct to eating pussy. Most women masturbate by pressing a finger or fingers over their clit, possibly 'through' the skin of their inner or outer lips, and vigorously rubbing in a circular or back-and-forth direction. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. You will never be a good lover until you can bring your woman to climax with your hands. When you fuck her from behind, or up her ass, or really in any position which doesn't allow her to simultaneously rub her vulva against your body, reach down or around and rub her clit. I know it's distracting, but just do it anyway. One important point to note: make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and sometimes downright painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across one's clitoris!
Of course, that's not all you can do with your fingers. One technique which is very exciting is to spread her lips wide apart with one hand, and with your index finger straight like a pencil, flick the side of it rapidly across her clit. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Combining this with the addition of some tongue action elsewhere is nothing short of bliss.
Sticking one or more fingers inside her vagina is also wonderful. You can simply move them in and out (this feels best with at least two or three fingers, pushed in hard), or wriggling them around. A particularly intense motion is to face your hand so that you have two fingers inside her with your palm facing the front of her body. Now move your fingers rapidly, as if waving hello. You are aiming to stimulate a particular part of the woman's vagina - namely the lower anterior (front) part. When combined with sucking her clit, this is nearly certain to bring her to a fast and intense climax.
An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one (and later two) fingers inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. I'm talking about that fleshy 'mound' over her pubic bone. Your finger goes in and out and the ball of your hand is pressed hard against her vulva. You may want to rub or even shake the entire area with your palm.
Fingers also do nice things to little anus holes, but that's another story...!
This stuff is purely optional. If anal play doesn't turn you on, don't do it. If you're uncomfortable, she'll pick up on your feelings and start wondering if it's her pussy that's turning you off. Don't feel that you can't be a good lover without anal play; you can.
Cleanliness is of the essence. (remember that nice soapy shower?) Scoop out some luscious juices (from a very wet pussy) with your finger and rub it around her anus. (If she isn't well lubricated, saliva works too.) If that's all you or she feels comfortable with, fine - it still feels great. But I think most women enjoy the feel of a finger pushed up their ass while they're being fucked or eaten. You need to be gentle, possibly even leaving your finger still. Try moving it in and out a little, or around in a circle. If she starts moaning, you know you're doing something right.
It's really fun to feel a woman's anus rhythmically squeezing your finger as she cums. (And it's great for her, too) You're probably thinking about what that would feel like around your dick, and it's something you should certainly explore. Ass-fucking is somewhat out of the scope of this article, but suffice to say, if she doesn't like a finger up her anus, she sure as hell won't want your big dick up there! Even if she does enjoy this sort of play, she may still be somewhat apprehensive about putting something so large up there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication (a water-soluble type such as K-Y, which is safe for condoms), relaxation on her part, and a slow, gentle, approach. She'll certainly tell you if she wants you to thrust harder or deeper. And remember, if you want to feel that delicious squeezing around your cock, reach around and play with her clit!
As for analingus - why not? Don't feel like you HAVE to do it to satisfy your woman. But if the idea turns you on, great. Let your tongue rove as it pleases. It's not necessary to actually put your tongue inside her anus to stimulate the area. Back and forth, around and around, you get the picture.
One hygiene note: once that finger (or your penis) has been inside her ass, don't even think about putting it anywhere else. Carelessness in this regard can cause horrendous infection.
I haven't met a lot of men who are completely comfortable going down on a woman when she has her period. But some are. Most women are at their horniest before and sometimes during their period. You should definitely find a way to make her cum when she's bleeding, be it through intercourse, manual, or oral stimulation. If you feel comfortable going down on her, great. It's perfectly safe. You may suggest that she insert a tampon, and then wash up. (As you now know, you don't need to get anywhere near her vagina to make her cum.) Or you could lay down a few old towels, turn out the lights, and forget about it.
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
I think variety is crucial. Some man posted an article detailing a road map of kissing and licking (first here, then here, etc.) Much better to do the unexpected; sometimes a hungry, aggressive approach, other times a laid-back, leisurely one. You can even include your nose, or your chin into the act. Start slow, that's the key, and let your lover guide the speed of the crescendo. In all cases, start gently. Roughness and clumsiness are big turn- offs. As she gets more and more excited, pay more attention to her clitoris. When she's three breathes away from cumming, moving your mouth off or away from her clit is agony. That's fine if you're intentionally torturing her, just understand that this is what you are doing. The only prohibition is to be reasonably gentle with her clit. Nibbling or biting is fine elsewhere, but we're talking about a 'sensitive spot'.
Speaking of prolonging the agony... I think this is great fun. Bring your partner just to the edge of orgasm, and stop! This is not easy unless you really know your lover well. Instead, just have her help you. Say, 'Grab my head and stop me just before you think you're going to cum.' Then take your sweet time. Blow on her clit, take it into your mouth, just briefly, flick it just the very slightest bit. You will have this woman squirming and moaning like she's dying. Finger her deeply, enjoy the ecstasy you are imparting, and finally, have pity. Let the poor woman cum.
Okay, she's practically suffocating you, she's pressed so hard against your face; she's screaming and bucking up in the air; you feel her pussy contracting wildly - how long should you keep it up? The simple answer is, until she makes you stop. Some women may stop you after five seconds from the start of their climax, others may be able to roll right into another orgasm if you keep going. Do come up for air, but remember, her excitement does not drop off as sharply as yours does. Play it safe by continuing the stimulation.
How many times does she need to cum? Some women are very content to have one orgasm. A whole lot of women would really like to cum again, but need about five minutes to recoup! Many women are so sensitive right after they cum that they may push your head violently away. This doesn't necessarily mean they've had enough, only that you need to stop for a few minutes. In fact, most women, given a short rest between, are capable of cumming again and again. A smaller percentage of women are able to cum repeatedly with continued stimulation. This is the much-touted multiple-orgasm that is experienced by a minority of women. I know this makes it difficult to know when enough is enough, but there's a simple answer: ask her.
GOD I'M SO EXCITED IT FEELS GREAT BUT I JUST CAN'T COME!
It happens to all of us sometimes - distraction, embarrassment, anxiety, or just an inability to 'let go'. What do you do about it? The first question is, can she easily bring herself to a climax in the privacy of her own home? If the answer is no - then she needs to do some homework. There are two books on the subject that I know of: 'For Yourself: The Fulfilment of Female Sexuality' by Lonnie Barbach, and 'Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving' by Betty Dodson; pick up one. Then tell her to read it, study it, and practice, practice, practice!
Now if your partner is orgasmic only when alone - ask her point blank: 'Is there something different I can do?' Many women are shy about criticising their lovers, but if asked outright will surprise you with a very specific answer. It may be a simple matter of mechanics, like a little to right please, or not so rough, or more pressure and faster. Ah... perfect!
But suppose everything is wonderful. She says you're doing everything right but she just can't cum. There are two probable causes: self- consciousness and/or self-loathing. For women who can't help watching themselves, the best approach is to eliminate anything that focuses her attention on what the two of you are doing. This is a 'be here now' kind of thing - definitely not an introspective activity. Get that mirror off the ceiling. Dim the lights or turn them off completely. Put on some soft music. Share a glass of port. (I said a glass - getting drunk will definitely not help). Have her lay on her back, or propped up comfortably with some pillows. This is not the time for her to sit on your face, or the edge of the bed, or standing up against a wall. Arrange a time when you can devote a long period to eating her pussy, and then just keep it up. Forget everything I said about asking her questions - just close your eyes and get into it. I know this can be a difficult and exhausting exercise, but she will be thankful for your efforts. It gets easier each time. If all else fails, get accustomed to masturbating together. Gradually begin to add your stimulation to her own, right before she's about to cum anyway. Over time, you can take over completely.
For women who themselves feel that their pussies are dirty or distasteful, all of the above methods may be helpful, but the underlying issue must also be addressed. I am amazed at how many women are ambivalent about their own genitals. They don't love 'that part' of their body, and they can't believe that you would either. Yes, it is important to be clean. But clean means a daily shower which includes washing the vulva. It doesn't mean vainly attempting to remove every trace of smell or taste. The natural fragrance and secretions of a healthy woman are beautiful and erotic. Hopefully you agree (and if not, try hard to cultivate this attitude). When she learns to love her pussy, she will be infinitely more comfortable with your loving it too.
ORAL SEX TECHNIQUES - FEMALE TASTE
In my experience, one of the main reasons that partners avoid cunnilingus is due to a perceived or even experienced poor taste. While it is true that women run the range from pleasant (tasty!) to sour or uric tasting, there are easy steps to ensure that your partner will be tasting her sweetest.
First and most obviously, a good vigorous shower will do much to neutralise the taste of your partner. In fact, oral sex in the shower, while not a favourite method of mine, has a completely neutral taste if you stick to the upper regions. If your partner has not showered recently, or has physically exerted herself recently, her taste will be much stronger. This, however, can be a good thing!
Secondly, foreplay will improve upon both the taste and the experience in general if your can get her juices flowing. I have never found an extremely aroused, wet woman to taste unpleasant. Quite the contrary!
Finally, there's the use of flavourings. There are many flavoured oils and body lotions available through 'marital aid' catalogues as well as from local novelty shops or condom shops. Also recommended to me: popsicles, honey, and whipped cream. (A particular favourite flavouring of mine is Karma Sutra Honey Dust!)
Do it! Take your time! Have fun! Experiment! A common male misunderstanding is that all females are aroused mostly through physical contact. Not true. Women can be aroused greatly simply because they find their partner sexy. Tension is a wonderful tool, use it. If you can build tension to the point where the barest touch sends electric shivers through both of you, you can't lose! Similarly, even the best love techniques will not turn on a woman who isn't in the mood. (If you can get her in the mood, well then you're talking.)
There are two basic positions that I have found very versatile and successful. For a very comfortable session, have her lie on her back with legs spread and knees bent slightly. Lie on your stomach between her legs, put your right arm under her left leg and your left arm under her right - somewhat of an intimate hug. Now you should find your head situated conveniently and comfortably near the centre of your attention.
Less comfortable, but a bit wilder is the following. Lie on your back, prop a couple of pillows (or fold one over) under your head. Have your partner kneel facing you with one knee on each side of your head, above your shoulders. The sexy part of this position (IMHO) is that your partner can look down at you and watch you eating her out. Versatility and comfort are reduced for the giver, so I only occasionally partake in this position. These are by no means the only positions.
Again, experiment, have fun. If you can find a bed where your partner can lie down with her legs dangling off the bed and resting flat on the floor, you're in luck. Now you can have her sit just at the edge of the bed, lie back, and give you plenty of access while you kneel/sit in front of her. Also recommended to me is siting beside your partner and kissing her in this manner. While I've found that this changes the angle of approach (adding variation) and allows more digital stimulation (that's fingers), it limits oral attention to the upper and clitoral area of your partner.
An additional recommendation follows: Have her lie with her head dangling off the edge of the bed. The additional rush of blood to the head will give a different (more intense?) feeling during orgasm. Warning, unconsciousness is a possibility! (Opinions vary on whether this improves orgasm.)
Different woman are very different in some respects of their genitalia, but the major parts are the same. A woman's sex, from the oral sex point of view, consists of two sets of lips (outer and inner) with end points just below the vaginal opening and some variable distance above the clitoris; the vaginal opening (at the lower end of her anatomy, just above where the two sets of lips meet), a smooth section of skin between the vaginal opening and the clitoris, and the clitoris and its surrounding folds.
If you get the chance, explore your partner in a location with decent lighting. Use one hand to spread her, then explore her. Find out what's where and what's what. Like I said earlier, women are different. Especially the location and shape of the clitoris. It can be buried, protruding, surrounded by many folds of flesh, or hanging out it the open. The best method I have found for finding your partner's clitoris (If all else fails, ask!), is to wet a finger and place it just over her vaginal opening, inside of her inner lips. Now run your finger up until you feel a slight bump. Now gently circle with your finger, if she gasps, that's it, if not move farther up and repeat as necessary.
OK, ENOUGH OF THE DETAILS, NOW THE NITTY-GRITTY
So your partner
is showered, excited and feeling sexy. It's the big moment, what to do? Don't simply
dive in. Take your time, excite her.
From 'The Meaning of Life' by Monty Python:
Headmaster: Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.
Watson: Rubbing the clitoris, sir.
Headmaster: What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy. Wymer: Suck the nipple, sir.
Headmaster: Good. Good. Good, well done, Wymer.
Duckworth: Stroking the thighs, sir.
Headmaster: Yes, I suppose so.
Another: Bite the neck.
Headmaster: Good. Nibbling the ear. Kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.
Watson: Yes sir. Sorry sir.
Depending on your partner, different methods of going down will work more effectively. If you've arrived at this point with your partner, you should have a fair idea of what she likes. Take advantage of that knowledge. One thing that I highly recommend however, is a sexy look. Sexy looks can make all the difference, and the best place to throw one in is as you're licking, sucking and kissing your way down her stomach. Take time to stop, look up and smile devilishly. Letting her know that you really want to do this and aren't just doing it because you're hoping for reciprocation is a great turn-on.
Unbutton your partners jeans, pull the tabs back and kiss her newly exposed flesh. Unzip her pants, pull the tabs back as far as they can go and place light, tender kisses on her abdomen and around the top of her panties. Watch it, some women are very ticklish here!
Note the above doesn't work so well if she doesn't have jeans on but you're all smart enough to figure it out...!
Once you've removed everything but her panties, stop. You have a unique opportunity for further arousal. Kiss her legs and inner thighs with gentle kisses. Work your way up each leg and make a point of stopping at the line of her underwear. Kiss again along the top of her underwear, and along the other two borders.
Now move to her cotton (silk? lace? latex?). Plant firm, dry kisses through her underwear, low and right around the vaginal entrance works best for me. If your partner is really excited, often her underwear will be damp and will smell (pleasantly) of her sex.
Removing the underwear is again a matter of choice. You know your partner best, I prefer either gently sliding it all the way off with my fingers, or pulling it part way down with my teeth first.
It is not unusual for your partner's lips to be closed together. A very excited woman's lips may be slightly spread already ('pouting'). Again, building tension can be accomplished by light kisses on either side of her, as well as light blowing. (Do not inflate your partner! This can be very dangerous!! - You can rupture internal organs this way.) Spreading her lips can be accomplished by placing your tongue first at the base, and then firmly running your tongue all the way up. Continue with a few long licks from the base all the way to the top past her clitoris. Vary the firmness of your tongue from hard and pointed to broad and soft.
THE BIG 'O'
The best and most proven method of making your partner cum through oral sex is by repeated, rhythmic stroking of her clitoris with your tongue. The tongue is uniquely suited for this purpose because of it's texture, versatility, and pliability. It is difficult (and tiring) to apply too much pressure to your partner's clitoris with your tongue. Some women are much more sensitive than others however. Be receptive to any sharp gasps, you could be being too forceful. If this is the case, move away from direct contact of the clitoris or adopt a gentler technique.
Repeated, rhythmic stroking can be accomplished in a variety of ways. I prefer either rapid, repeated vertical licks with a firm, pointed tongue, or you could try planting your tongue firmly and stiffly against your partner's clitoris and vigorously shaking your head back and forth. (Tiring, maybe. But it's worth it!) If you are having trouble finding the correct angle or method for rhythmically lingually caressing her clitoris, or if you want to try something fun and new:
Tongue the ABC's. No seriously! This is a great oral exercise on any part of the body. Tongue the ABC's starting with lower case, and moving though upper case. (Heck, you could do the whole ANSI ASCII set if you'd like!) Be especially perceptive while you do this, vary your speed and watch for sharp intakes of breath - chances are you've hit the right angle. The ABC's give a large variety of different strokes, so come back to this exercise as often as you'd like.
A general rule of thumb (tongue?) is to start slowly and pick up the pace as you go along. This is definitely a general rule though, feel free to break it by varying your rhythm, both slowly and predictably as well as quickly and startlingly.
OTHER FUN THINGS TO DO
Lick between the inner and outer lips; penetrate the vagina deeply (a much stronger, iron- like taste here); 'tease' the entrance to her vagina with rapid pokes of your tongue at varying depths; don't forget your hands, often a woman will feel a need or ache for something inside of her while very aroused, oblige her with a finger or two. Both kissing and manually manipulating your partner is tough, anyone with successful methods is welcome to pipe in.
Talk to your partner, ask her what she likes. Experiment (if you can) with many different partners. What excites one woman a lot may not excite another as much, but may still be well worth trying. On the other hand, you may not notice a subtle pleasurable technique on one woman that can be easily learned on another. The better you know your partner, the more effectively you can please her. Have fun!
Hope you found this helpful...any comments please email me!
Love Cheryl x